I know hardly anyone reads this so it's safe and all but I just really need to get this off my chest. I'm still smoking. Almost every day. They say it's terrible for the baby but I'm just filled with so much anxiety that the only thing that helps me is a cigarette or two. Is that really SO bad? I smoke in the bathroom now with the shower on so no one's the wiser. That probably means I'm feeling a bit guilty about everything right? And that maybe I should knock it the hell off. Hmm. I'll have to mull over this one. Anyway, you can still find a person now if you want to become a great People Finder.

I been bad, guys. I had a couple puffs off a cigarette the other day, and I feel absolutely terrible about it. It's like the worst thing you can do to the baby, I know, but I felt like I was gonna take a coat hanger to myself if I didn't have a puff. And it worked. But then I couldn't sleep all night, wracked with immense guilt. Now I know it's totally not worth it to get that momentary nicotine release anymore, so don't worry! Won't happen again! I've been reading this article called Orthorexia Makes Me Nervosa and I think I might suffer from that. I worry so much about what I'm feeding myself and therefore baby that I go crazy sometimes. Is that the same thing? So I haven't been able to be much of a people finder these days so forgive me. But if you need to find someone, I can still get the job done!

Ever since my midwife bailed on me last week I haven't been able to find somebody to replace her. Do all the midwives go on vacation in the fall or something? This people search for a midwife is totally anxiety inducing. I might just start smoking again. Haha, just kidding, I would never do that to my baby! But seriously, ever since I got pregnant it's like I just can't find people to help me out in the ways I need. But hey laughter is the best medicine so I've been reading Rant Farm a lot. This is a favorite: To the inexplicable strength of old out of shape guys. It's so true! I haven't been to the gym for ages though. It's hard to motivate myself when I feel nauseous all the time. I can't wait until this morning sickness goes away. Yeah..

Ugh, as though I didn't have enough to worry about, being 26 weeks into my pregnancy and all, but my midwife dropped out. She decided she wanted to backpack around Europe instead of birthday my baby. Gee, thanks. It's really troubling, because she came highly recommended from a bunch of friends, but now I have to do a people search to find a new one. I mean, it would be easy if I were just looking for anyone, but I want to find someone willing to work with me for an all natural birth in my home - so it has to be someone I trust. Man, this is stressful. Anyway, links for you: here's info about finding the child you put up for adoption and I'm getting all my Primal Nutrition from this site.

So I'm only 22 weeks into my pregnancy, and I'm already getting morning sickness. Ugh, it's gross and disgusting. I feel bloated and ill and hormonal. If only storks really did deliver babies, that would make this so much easier. I'll be home at 4 pm on June 22nd to pick up package, thanks, Mr. Stork. Until the stork delivery service gets up and running, I guess I have to suffer through this. You'd think that since I'm just staying home all day, I'd have a lot of time to check out new people finder sites, but I just haven't been in the mood. Is it hormones or just exhaustion? I mean, I love people search, but I just feel too tired to check out awesome new people search engines. Someone suggested phentremine overnight to help with exhaustion, but can I take it when I'm pregnant?

So, we were waiting till I was out of the first trimester before announcing my pregnancy to the whole family, but as of last check up I'm 15 weeks and me and baby are both super healthy! So, we made all the phone calls...and now we're making visits. I don't know why, but everyone wants to see us now. Well, I guess they all just want to congratulate us in person. We're going to do a round of visits now because it will be really hard to do this once the baby comes. Fortunately, most family lives within road trip visit, so we're packing Petey up in the car with us and heading out. I'm actually really excited! Thank goodness for people search engines--I used them to find doctors in all the areas I'm going to be in, just in case. I mean, recommendations are good and all, but a people search tells you even more. Paul actually was the one that insisted that I have healthy care providers picked out everywhere before we left. He's already such a protective dad! It's really cute. The only downside to this pregnancy is that we're the first in our peer group to have kids. I've been working on finding friends who also have babies. We can set up play dates and exchange stories and things like that. We're not going to abandon our friends, or try not to, but I've already warned them that people with newborns don't really get out much, so it may feel like we are. So far they've all been really supportive, so hopefully it will all work out. Anyway, there's still tons to do before the road trip, so I better get back to it.

Ha ha ha! So Paul got me my "pet" penguin. Really he just got me this really cool stuffed animal one, but he's the size of a real one, and he has a cute little bow tie. We named him Petey and he's so cute! And I have some other news--this cold I've had for forever was there for a reason--turns out when you become pregnant your immune system can get all whacked out. So, yeah...we're having a baby! We're both way excited, specially since my maternity leave will give me tons more time to, you guessed it, find a person. Lately I've been caught up reading all the other great find a person blogs. I feel the need to look up all my old friends and tell them about the new baby. That and we're looking up more of Paul's family--we were told it's a good idea to get a full medical history of both sides. His dad has been helpful with that, but he comes from a large family and lost touch with a great many of them. Meanwhile, I came across this great article on the top new year's resolutions. Fortunately weight loss isn't going to be one of them for me this year, although I have to quit smoking for the baby's sake. I know I know! Horrible habit! But I'm working on it...been eating a lot of carrot sticks....anyway, going to go make some more now, and see if that helps with my cravings. Happy new year everyone!

Haven't you always wanted a pet penguin?  No?  What's wrong with you?!  Everyone wants a pet penguin!!  Especially me.  I asked Santa for a pet penguin this year, but I don't think he'll deliver, because he doesn't exist.  (If you're one of my few readers under the age of ten: I was just kidding, of course Santa exists and he'll bring you presents this year.  I was just being cynical.  Go ask your parents what "cynical" means.)  Anyway, since I'm expecting to get a penguin for Christmas, I think I'll make it a goal to own a pet penguin some time within the New Year.  Why, you ask?  Why not!  It might mean I have to move to a colder climate, which would not be the best idea, since my health is in such a fragile state, but I think it might be worth it to have my dream pet, don't you think?  Anyway, I found another person search blog that you should totally check out.  And any of my geeky computer developer friends probably already know about open social, but just in case you missed it, I thought I'd post the link.  Enjoy!  And happy penguin holidays!

I was dead on the money when I said I thought I was coming down with a cold last time. The thing is, I just can't shake it. The worst of it is definitely gone, but I still have that lingering cough and sniffle. It's gross and I think people are beginning to be repulsed by me. Also, I think that the dramatic change in weather is a major contributor to my sniffles. It was so hot last week and today it's freezing! I just walked to the pharmacy for some DayQuil and now I can barely feel my fingers to type this post! Awful! I really hope I feel better by Thursday, otherwise, dealing with my family is going to be even worse! Anyways, I'm still trying to search people online, and becoming quite good at it really. I'm pretty sure I can do a person search in under 3 minutes flat. Seriously! Oh, also, my brother sent me a link to this site GiantLists.com-Never Hire People to do For You, which is a really funny site full of funny lists. My favorite list was all about things you should never hire someone to do for you. Hysterical stuff. Anyways, I gotta go warm up with some cocoa! I love the holidays!

Oh man. I am totally coming down with a cold, and it sucks. I keep sneezing and I know it has nothing to do with allergies. You know how you can feel the difference? Yeah, it like... hurts and feels like it's coming from deep inside that sneezes shouldn't be coming from. Also my nose keeps running and I'm super duper tired. I don't know. Sorry to complain so much. I should probably stop writing and go take a nap, but instead I am going to give you these links to these sites that I've been enjoying this month. The first one is about how to find a person online, and of course, I love it. Another one is this site about people search, and it's got some good stuff to say about the topic. Lastly, I don't remember if I've told you about this site or not, but if I have, you'll have to forgive me because it's just so good that it actually deserves to be mentioned twice. It's called Consumer-Advocate.org, and the link takes you to a really cool articles on widgets. I was so shocked to find out how many widgets there are out there. There are even people searching ones! Anyway, I'm off to take some Nyquil and take nap.